How To Overcome Shyness

For some people, hanging out with a bunch of people at a party is a night well spent. For others, just the idea of it makes them want to run and hide. We identify some causes of shyness and offer you some ideas for overcoming it.

Why am I shy?

Why are some people timid in social situations, while others thrive? Although it’s not always clear why, there are a few possible explanations, including negative self-image, bullying, personality traits, and a lack of experience of social interaction.

Most people are shy from time to time, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But if your shyness has started to bug you, or you feel that it’s holding you back in some way, there are things you can do to overcome it.

Most people feel shy at one point or another, but for some, shyness can be so debilitating that it prevents them from participating in social situations that are important to personal or professional goals. Shy people want to be close to others but fear being rejected or criticized, so they avoid even social events they want to attend. They often end up feeling lonely and isolated, which increases their risk for developing other problems like depression or anxiety. Sometimes people will try to overcome shyness by self-medicating with alcohol or drugs, which increases their risk for substance use disorders.

Research shows that shyness is maintained through a vicious cycle in which people approach a social situation, feel the excessive fear of negative evaluation, and then avoid the situation which initially provides relief; however, this often leads to feelings of shame and self-blame. In order to cope with these feelings, our negative emotions can turn into anger and blame toward others, and so others can be viewed as inconsiderate or unsupportive, which further reinforces the desire to avoid them.

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